Editor Christopher Writes – #PoemADayForAYear: 09/03/15

Today has seen more uni reading in preparation for my next assignment. For the last one, I tried to write as dry a piece as I could. This seemed to work in my favour because I got my highest mark for the module so far, though still lower than anything I got on the creative writing modules I did previously.

Whilst I was doing my last assignment, I had a moment of crisis. I am less than three months away from graduating now. This three month countdown has been seven years in the making, and more money than I am comfortable even imagining trying to begin thinking about. But I am almost there. The moment of crisis came when I found the material for the last assignment far too impenetrable and almost decided to just not do it and scrap the module. This would have left me owing a lot of money up front and having to face the prospect of not completing my degree. Eventually I saw sense and just did it. This was a good thing to do.

So now I am on an assignment about whether or not an immortal life has any meaning. The material thus far has explored what ‘meaning’ actually means, from subjective and objective stand points. It has talked about the potential someone has versus what they actually do with their life and, if they don’t meet their potential, does this mean it is a wasted life without meaning.

As I have said, I think writing as dry a piece as possible is the way to get the best marks in this module but there are two things I desperately want to use as frameworks for the assignment and the discussion therein. Firstly, the episode from Red Dwarf called ‘The Inquisitor.’ In this episode, the four main characters – Lister, Rimmer, Kryten and The Cat – are forced to justify their existence to an immortal, self-repairing droid who has taken it upon himself to judge everyone across time and space. He uses themselves as their own judges, determining whether they have lived up to their own potential. I think this is very relevant to the course material.

The other thing I want to use is the character of Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged from the much beloved Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, an immortal being who is bored with eternal life who spends his days insulting everyone who has ever existed in alphabetical order. Again, I think this would be instrumental to the case I would be building in my essay. Though would this move me away from being too dry? I do not want to give too much away about how I would use these two things just in case there are prying eyes.

In other news, editing is gathering pace now. The Verbose feature is looking awesome and we have an interview with David Gaffney for it now as well as other interviews by some viciously talented people! The serials are in. Just waiting on two interviews and doing the short stories and we are almost there.

Issue 9 is shaping nicely too. I think this is the first time ever we have had a jump start on the next issue! It’s almost like we’re becoming professional…

…I say having just sloshed tea from my TARDIS mug onto the heart-covered pyjama bottoms I have stolen from Keri.

Here is a poem. The prompt today is a paradelle.

No it isn’t. That one will take a little work.

Here is a poem.

The bottle of ketchup has goop around the rim.

A thick, hard goop that keeps sauciness locked within.

You could try a gentle shake but that won’t get you anywhere

A forceful shake and good hard tap will send ketchup everywhere!

There has to be a middle ground; poke it with a knife.

A simple scrape of thick, hard goop will end a lot of strife.

So next time you are vexed by a bottle of tomato sauce,

just use a knife and the perfect amount of sauce will be your reward.

This is just one of the tricks I picked up whilst working

as…erm…international relations manager in a small but,

yes classy, little holiday resort in the south of Cuba.

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