Editor Christopher Writes – #PoemADayForAYear: 27/03/15

Here’s something I don’t understand. Why is Kanye West as famous and popular as he is? I know I do not have my finger as pressed onto the pulse as some, or indeed most, but honestly? I can only name two songs he has ever done and I’m fairly sure they were both released this year, or one was late last year. That one he did where he ‘introduced the world to Paul McCartney’ (OK, I know that whole debacle wasn’t his fault. It was his fans who have about much knowledge about music as the hole in my sock.) that song is constantly on the radio and it does my head in.

Then there’s the one he did at the Brit Awards (I think). I believe it is called All Day. I assume that is the title of the song. That phrase is used in the song about 8m times! That is always on the radio too. Those two songs continuously on a loop that even Beelzebub would find too tortuous.

Hey all you guys at Radio One. How long are you going to play those songs for? All day, all day. Hey Kanye, how lond did it take you to come up with the line ‘all day’? All day, all day. How long would I prefer to slowly thread a knitting needle into my retina than hear that song again? All day, all day.

Normally I can find something at last tolerable in even the most annoying song. There’s one at the moment called Hold My Hand by Jess Glynne. That is another particularly annoying song but I do quite like the bridge so that makes it easier to handle it being forced into my earballs on a two-hourly basis.

(This is an interjection as there is a song on now that just used the line ‘If you’re too school for cool.’ I don’t have any actual thoughts on this line. It’s more like the colour Blinding Rage just filled my brain-space. Blinding Rage, by the way, is part of the Break-up Revenge Redecoration range of paint by Dulux.)

Anyway, there is no redeeming feature in this Kanye West song. I think it may have to go onto my list of songs that make me want to bite off my thumbs and jamb them into the eye-holes of the person who put it on. Other songs on this list are Blue by Scooter and Believe by Cher.

Why is the world so fascinated by Kanye West. Wasn’t it not too long ago that we all thought he was a dick? Why, all of a sudden, is he this popular again? Is it because he married Kim Kardashian? I can’t imagine why that would help given how vapid she is too. Plus, she broke the internet, didn’t she? I don’t know how she did it but I don’t appreciate it. I like the internet. It is where I do things. Things like talk about Kanye West.

I should probably stop talking about him soon. I think anytime anyone talks about him anywhere in the world he gets an erection and I really do not want to be responsible for that.

Here is a poem.

Sitting late night staring at a blank page is a nonevent,

deep into what they may but probably do not call

‘the misty hour’, when everything that has happened

that day, incidents at work, funny and weird moments

you saw walking down the street, half heard conversations

in shop queues, are starting to drift away and that soft,

deep feeling of drowsiness begins to take you.

You know you have to write something, every day

you must write something but all inspiration

has been boarded on that same raft with the day’s

memories. So the blank page stares at you,

its oddly comforting hue bringing a tranquility

it should not. You smile and as you hit that first key

you sink into sleep. You wake to find you have written

something in your sleep. One letter over and over.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

 

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