Editor Christopher Writes – #PoemADayForAYear: 03/04/15

I think if you discount ‘Phantom Menace’

entirely, the new Star Wars trilogy

isn’t too bad. Well, apart from that fella

who played Anakin Skywalker.

And Ewan McGregor. And CGI Yoda.

And the fact they were made in the first place.

Especially though, that bit at the end of

‘Revenge of the Sith’ where Anakin

is first put into the Darth Vader suit

and screams when he finds out

that one with the face is dead.

That really grated on me.

Oh, was that a spoiler?

I mean, it is about 10 years old now.

Have I just done a Stephen King?

Well, if it’s good enough for him…

Verbal Kint is Keyser Soze.

Bruce Willis is a ghost.

(In general, that is, have you seen his later films?)

It turns out they’re on Earth all along.

He is Luke’s father.

It’s Gwyneth’s head in the box.

The narrator is Tyler Durden.

The dead body is actually Jigsaw.

Walter Whiter dies at the end.

Dumbledore dies.

It was Jason’s mother.

Oh, and spoilers ahead.

Sorry.

One last one.

There are actually fifty-one shades of grey.

They forgot the one that my blood

stained the carpet when I heard they

were making a film and I couldn’t handle anything

anymore.

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