Here is a catch up as I have been way to busy to sit down and write the blog properly over the last few days.
The countdown has begun. 6 days to go until my final university assignment is due in. Only 7 years, roughly £27k of debt and £3k out of my own pocket after I started.
I know throughout those seven years, I’ve largely been an idiot with my studying. I know if I hadn’t let myself get dragged into an abyss of depression whilst I was at uni proper, I would have graduated four years ago. I know that, whilst with the Open University, if I’d have put a little more effort in, I would have gotten much better marks.
I’ve always struggled with self-motivation. I put time aside to do things and then when it comes down to actually doing them, sometimes I get this crippling panic in the pit of my stomach, like somehow if I do this thing, it is my really trying and if I fail, I have nothing to fall back on, so it’s easier not to try and never find out the true worth of my potential.
I know this is incredibly selfish. There are people who are very invested in me and I know I am letting them down. Every day I vow to wake up and kick myself into gear, see just how far I can go but I always comfort myself with the fact that there is always tomorrow.
I’m almost thirty. The tomorrow of certain things is going to pass soon. I need to stop being an idiot.
More of a stream of consciousness there than a blog. I’m just feeling quite a lot of pressure at the moment. Uni work, trying to get the company rolling, magazine work, trying to keep the house clean and tidy and get all the chores done. It’s all getting a little too much at the moment.
Here is a poem.
Snow sizzles under
bare-foot, skin splits yellow.
Ice tentacle through nails.
Today saw the return of one of our favourite poetry nights in Manchester: Transdimensional Space Goats. Their mission is to bring ‘the best of rock ‘n’ roll poetry’ and they do not disappoint.
The relaunched TSG was in a brand-new venue too: New York New York just off Canal Street. It was fantastic to see some of the poets we love performing again; people like Andrew Lawson and Joshue Mackle, the hosts of the night. Also, Karen Little, who has been a headliner at our very own Do The Write Thing. We also had the pleasure of seeing Rose Condo, who was particularly phenomenal.
One highlight was seeing Wolfy, a drag-king who did a brilliant lip-sync performance of Rollin’ by Limp Bizkit and Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy. First time seeing a drag-king and it was so fun.
We have a special announcement coming up soon so keep your looking ear-balls fixed on the internet-projector-machine.
Here is a poem.
He sat hidden behind a dune
as the last perfect day of
summer slipped behind the ocean.
On cue, it started to rain.
He stood up and brushed damp sand
from his jeans and threw
an empty can over the embankment.
A few seconds later, he heard a scream
from the couple having sex on
the other side.
Nothing much to say today really. Spent 6 hours so far listening to customers complain about the fact that ‘we’ve got nowt glitzy for me foooorne.’ No, no we don’t. Leave me alone please.
Here is a poem. The prompt comes from #cdpoetry and is ‘kissed by thorns’.
Truth can only be spat
when you are kissed by thorns.
Lips rip from the grip
of poison barbs.