Editor Christopher Writes – #PoemADayForAYear: 19 + 20 + 21/06/15

So yesterday I invented a game. It’s called Whack-An-Arsehole. Any time an arsehole pops up from its dingy little hole to cause me or anyone I love grief, stress, offence, I’m going to smash them with a mallet. Definitely metaphorically, maybe literally, if the logistics are right.

19/06/15

Here is a poem. It is based on something someone once said to me.

Someone once told me the fact I swear

means I have a limited vocabulary.

I think what he meant to say was

that any tutelage I received in my youth,

In hessian days of pulchritudinous bliss,

was demonstrably diminished

if I felt no other option was afforded

to me than to resort to profanities.

In any case, I think if anything,

the fact I swear means much, much more

than that.

For example, it means I know how to use

the fullest extent of language to get what I want.

If you walk into the centre of a room,

you clearly want the spotlight on you.

If you are meek and mild-mannered,

you aint gonna get it.

However, you walk  to the centre

of that room and shout

PISS or

SHIT or

COCK-JUGGLING THUNDER-CUNT

people are going to pay attention.

I think swearing makes me more sexy.

While you meek people

are copulating

procreating

making love

I am fucking.

It means I have met far more varied

people than you can imagine.

I have not spent my life trapped in

a little bubble of decorum.

Plus, everyone swears,

just as sure as everyone shits.

I bet even the Queen does it.

‘Oh bollocks Phillip.

The damn corgies have shat on the lawn again.’

And you aint calling the Queen uneducated.

No, you aint.

So shut the fuck up.

20/06/15

Here is a poem. The prompt is ‘wasted life’ by #DSPoetry

The tick of the clock

deafens in time to metronomic words

‘You have wasted your life.’

21/06/16

Here is a poem. The prompt is ‘I am your father’ from #GeekVerses

I deserted you,

rather than raise you.

My head in the stars

but when your heart

is palpitating with shock

I will be there.

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